How's it Cohen - Issue 3

why i love high school dances.

a wise man once asked me what really gets my dopaminergic pathways really flowing. my answer? high school dances. they are the perfect extension of mindless socialization which happens to occur seven hours each day in our delightful, particular institution, school. seven hours, as we all know, is only a third of how many hours this interaction with people we love and care about should occur. chit-chat, prattle, drivel…do we need any more than that? i think not.

perhaps the most intriguing difference between the everyday school and the dance is the fact that at the dance you get to express yourself via athletic activity all whilst bathing in the aroma of sweat, body odor, bad breath, pheromones, and ignorance. if only i could induce my olfactory cortex to reproduce new neurons at will…if only…

but what is the real, visceral reason for the amount of happiness these fete’s give us? love. all of humanity is just so selfless and caring that i wish i could go to the dance with everyone (looking at you Burge).

in the beginning, the Lord said let there be Light, and there was Light. And the Light was good. And from the rib of the Light, the Lord created the Dance, and the Dance was okay, nay, grand, nay, okay, nay, unbearable, nay, magnificent. I sometimes hear that funky beat and can’t help dance until I realize I am dancing to the organ music at the funeral of a canonized devil worshipper.

dances us teach us the only things that really matter in this world. love, compassion, spirituality, feelings…that is what matters. knowledge, understanding, realism are what prevent us from living our lives fully. we are fertile ground, and we must allow the garden of Dance plant its garden upon us. remember kids, you matter.

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