Supranatural Report Issue 1 - Zodiacs

The unknown is a scary place, filled with things you do not know. However, with my expertise in all things supernatural I hope to share with you, the reader, all the things I know about the unknown.

This week, your zodiac predictions.

Cancer: Today is not your day, avoid people, water, singing, running, bright lights, the dark, small rooms, red meats, standing still for a long periods of time, animals, music, reading, shoes, sharp objects, dull objects, commitments, cars, the outdoors, and new aspirations. Tomorrow, more of the same; however three of these things you should do but you will not know which three.

Scorpio: If you woke up cold you will experience luck with money, if you woke up warm you will experience luck with friends. If you did not wake at all see a doctor immediately.

Pisces: These are the two fish things right? I don’t know do something with water today or something.

Aries: People will look to you for guidance, however be cautious for soon you will attract a swarm of pests all wanting you to lead them. You are not cut out for leading, and you know this. However, you don’t like disappointing others. To not put yourself in this predicament stay inside all day, maybe finish that book you never finished reading, or watch a movie. Take a day off you deserve it.

Leo: You will find you will pick up new skills relatively easy today, where tomorrow they were very difficult.

Sagittarius: There is no easy way to put this this will probably go badly for you today, just try your best and you will get through today and tomorrow everything will be better. Oh and avoid firearms.

Taurus: You are just perfect, everything you do will end in success and there are no consequences to your actions.

Virgo: You know that test you took? The one from a few days ago? Well that one question where you were between two answers, but you decided to go with your gut and put C. You got it wrong, it was actually B and that wasn’t even one of the answers you were debating. Better luck next time.

Capricorn: Did you remember the list?

Gemini: That person you saw the other day, you know, the one who caught your attention but you never got to look at his face. That person, was actually you, you were looking at you. This you wasn’t you from the past or the future, but a second you existing in this very moment. Avoid this other you at all costs.

Libra: Things will good for you today, take risks they will almost certainly lead to success.

Aquarius: What? No no no. This isn’t a real Zodiac sign this is one of those fake ones, you know the ones that pretend to be real, but are actually just really vague to fit a lot of people. Don’t listen to an Aquarius because they are not real people.