Liberties under Siege

MARIEMONT - The first shots of the revolution have been fired last week in 2nd Bell Advanced Placement United States History (Colloquially known as APUSH). In a shocking attack on Mariemonter liberties, the right to peacefully use fonts and colors on Google Docs was rescinded. This right, commonly considered a universal and natural right of all human beings.

The results were immediate; the government language, Times New Roman was imposed over regional font dialects, the largest being Comic Sans and Spicy Rice. In addition, size and color requirements were enforced, being black and size 12. Most 2nd Bell APUSH students meekly followed the new regime, will a band of dedicated rebels fell back to a new Google Doc title "The Preservation of Our American Liberties" to continue the fight and live in freedom from font color tyranny.

And example of government sponsored propoganda against the Comic Sans language

We interviewed Seth Medlin, a current rebel leader and a well known insurgent against the regime even before the current loss of liberty. He added, "revolutions these days aren't brought with guns and bombs, but the little acts, those are what count."

We also took this matter to the civilian leader of the 5th Bell APUSH, Jack Mathis, who, like much of 5th bell, did not believe that these infringements would carry on to their level of society, not knowing that the fates of 2nd and 5th bell were intertwined.

Finally, attempts to interview government authorities on this matter held that, though there is no official stance, the authorities encouraged total and complete assimilation into Times New Roman culture and language.

Functioning as the official mouthpiece for the rebels, Pacemaker, and the rebels wish to see bilateral cooporation on both sides of the conflict, and a peaceful and properous compromise achieved between the rebels and government forces before tensions lead to further escalations of government or rebel violence.

Sources:

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