Students Take Advantage of Substitute Teachers

MARIEMONT – With the conclusion of intense research, it has been discovered that students take advantage of substitute teachers to abuse classroom rules.

Mariemont Teacher Kevin Ferry's absence allowed many subs to be observed in their own habitat.

According to eyewitness testimony, an anonymous source recalls a harrowing experience in an exclusive interview that he actually witnessed students breaking rank and sitting in seats that were not those originally assigned to them. What more, students skirted responsibility.

Student Cohen Bailey, on the topic of the “likeability” of substitute teachers argued that he “only likes them if they possess a World of Warcraft Strategy Book.” Other students didn’t allow this much respect, seeing them merely as tools to get away with slacking off.

Getting a radical, foreign view, we interviewed Californian Anežka Boyle, a fan of camping and Spiderman movies. She, unlike Ohioans, claimed that “I [Anežka] feel bad when kids make fun of subs though.” This shocking respect for substitute teachers is unheard of the Principality of Mariemont.

We hope to at the nearest opportunity hold a follow up article in which we hear from the words, the struggle, the story, from a real substitute teacher.